I Hate Sissies and Whiners

Instructions To Live By

Posted April 21 2008 01:41 PM by Jp Editor
Filed under: Editorials, Jeep Enthusiast Culture, John Cappa

There are way too many "me, me, me" people that get riled at the slightest non-politically correct comment. I've pretty much had it with those who think everything and everyone should cater to them and kiss their rear. I'd be fine to leave it alone but the problem is they usually won't shut up about being offended. Today there are just too many Web outlets for these sissy-ass pansies to whine and complain. And then there will be a dozen more babies ready to jump on the crybaby bandwagon.

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Anyway, I just got a new tire for one of my bikes and I found these instructions and warranty pretty funny and very telling of our society. Click the pic and read the fine print. If you are easily offended then this is about you.

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Reader Comments:

1. Tell me again, how that could offend someone? although I know it does!

But you should be careful angry comments from easily offended people may follow below! haha

cgreenwood - Posted April 21 2008 07:51 PM

2. ROTFLMAO.....ABSOLUTLY, SO TRUE. you know if those instructions weren't in there, that some tard would hurt himself or break something.......then here comes the law suit. in my humble opinion, i think lawyers are a big reson why this countries going to hell in a hand basket.....them and hand ringing libs. ok, i'm climbing off my soap box now.

chariotofmanliness - Posted April 22 2008 07:00 AM

3. you're calling people panseys when you're the one reading directions?

psshhh... why don't you go whine to "Girl and Chocolate"!?!?

on second thought, i bet more guys would read directions if they were written like this.

erichapman - Posted April 22 2008 09:54 AM

4. Yo John, maybe an issue of JP Magazine should come with an “instruction manual” sometime. After all, you could accidentally suffer a paper cut on one of your fingers while flipping the pages. Or you could accidentally puncture yourself on one of the staples we use to bind the magazine, leading to tetanus and an untimely death (Darwin at work). Or you could experience blurred eyesight and/or headaches from squinting at the itty-bitty type on the pages of the magazine. Or small children could be prone to sudden attacks of Ink Poisoning or chronic intestinal blockage if they chewed up and swallowed several dozen pages at once. Or you could simply develop a case of severe mental illness from reading too many of Hazel’s junkyard reclamation stories. Whatever, I bet you could have a lot of fun with this in your column one month if you thought up enough Worst-Case Scenarios.

Doug McColloch - Posted April 22 2008 10:39 AM

5. On the flip side, try to stop letting the whining get to you. There's folks who'll always *** and moan, don't give them the time of day and it won't burn you up. It's irrelevant if someone takes offense when you're not around to care.

Binsk - Posted April 22 2008 12:07 PM

6. Dude the Taiwanese are catching an attitude. ...Oopse is calling someone Taiwaneese offensive...sorry!

SerneVimons - Posted April 24 2008 08:11 AM

7. Sorry to say it's so true. How about all them people still suing the RV companies because they hurt themselves on their quads and three wheelers.

1backroad - Posted May 1 2008 05:20 PM

8. I am suprised that ther isn't a warning printed in six different languages about the dangers of hanging yourself with the old tire or the liabilities of enviornmental damage for improper disposal.

AnthonyBurgon - Posted May 4 2008 11:35 PM

9. I agree with Chariot. Some idiot had to hurt him\herself in some ridiculous way for them to HAVE to print the instructions.
Not to be gross or anything, but have you read the instructions on the back of a tampon box? "Remeber to remove last tampon at the end of your period." !!!??? Someone had to forget, or it wouldn't be on there. Wonder how she figured it out? Every cat in the neighborhood following her or what? Who would be able to stand up in court in front of 12 jurors and say, "Nothing on the box reminded me to take out the last one before inserting another one!!" Can we say DEE-DEE-DEE!?

Hater21 - Posted May 6 2008 10:07 AM

10. That is too cool!

Jp Web Editor - Posted May 15 2008 11:21 AM

11. ALL legal-eze should be that humorously insulting...I love it! Maybe the whiner-asses will shut up if they are shamed enough by companies tired of "Litagationphobia".
And frivolous lawsuits AIN'T the fault of the lawyers or the judges anymore than its McDonald's fault your kid gets fat! It IS the fault of the individual involved. PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY, AMERICA - OWN IT!

MrTinkerjeep - Posted June 5 2008 04:10 PM

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