Call me full of myself, elitist, or simply a jerk. But here are my opinions on a few things magazine- and off-road-related.

1) Cappa/Hazel storied involving driving insane distances to buy impossibly crappy piles of Jeep are cool. We haven't done one in a while. We need to. Stories are even better when one of us is dumb enough to leave the trailer at home

2) Hood louvers, bug deflectors, more than 2 off-road lights, or any other superfluous gidgit makes you stupid. If it doesn't make your Jeep wheel better, why bother? And hood louvers don't count 'cause it's a crutch for an otherwise inadequate cooling system.

3) It's still obnoxious to write a name on a vehicle. Even a boat. Unless the boat costs more than $1mil. Then it's a yacht and doesn't really count.

4) Magazine stories that involve driveway installs or home fabrication will always be 100,000 times cooler than those involving a shop.

5) I'll never get to the 2 million over-the-top story ideas I've got rattling around in my head. The SRT8 Grand Cherokee vs. Viper on Germany's Nuerburgring is but one I'm sad to see go poof into the vapors of nothingness.

6) jpmagazine.com's pop-up ads drive me crazy. Postal anyone?

7) After 10 years of doing anything for a living it turns into work - even this job. Still, at the end of the day it beats anything I can think up for a career.

8) Off-Roading needs more hot chicks. Why do they all seem to gravitate towards the street bike and Eurotrash car crowd?