Yesterday I did something that five years ago I never thought I'd need to do. I took my diesel pickup in for a smog check.

 For those of you living outside of Commiefornia, let me enlighten you because what happens in this state almost always trickles to other states...and sometimes becomes nation-wide policy.

First, if you own a gas-powered vehicle, as long as its six-years old or newer, it's exempt from the smog nonsense. After your new gas vehicle turns six years old, upon your next registration renewal you'll need to take it to a smog facility and they'll pop the hood, check all your emissions devices are in place, test that your fuel filler cap holds vacuum, and will put your vehicle on the rollers and run it at idle and at speed to check tailpipe emissions with a probe inserted in the tailpipe. Then, every other year you gotta do the same thing.

In the last couple years, they got the bright idea to start testing diesel vehicles made in 1998 or newer. I should mention, I'm already paying a premium at the DMV for my diesel in increased weight fees and am forced to register my pickup as a commercial vehicle, even though I don't use it for any commercial purposes. Stupid.

So, I head over to my local smog shop that I've used for years and say hey to the dude who owns the place. We wax idiotic for a couple minutes about the diesel smog laws and then he gets to work. First, he pops the hood and checks that the EGR is still in place. Then, he walks over and sticks his head under the rocker to makes sure the catalytic converter, Nox, and DPF filters are in place. Then he fires up the diesel and while looking in the passenger-side mirror, raps the engine twice to make sure no lingering smoke comes out of the tailpipe. That's it. Three minutes or less. Done. Then I walk inside and hand over $52.

I had an S&B cold air intake on the engine, an aftermarket FASS fuel pump, and a Bullydog programmer installed and uploaded. All of which carry no California CARB EO number. Why did I pass? The state doesn't care. It just wants to collect extra money to fund stupid state-run programs.

Sometimes I hate that I love living here.